Where is Directions, so that I might follow him?

Scene: Owen and Mommy are sitting on the couch. Owen is eating a bowl of grapes. Mommy is playing Wii reading a parenting guide. Owen starts to gag a bit on a grape.

Mommy: Honey, remember what mommy told you. When you eat the big grapes, you need to bite them in half. Don't stick the whole grape in your mouth, it's too big. You need to take a bite of the big ones, okay?

Owen: Okay Mommy.

Owen: (holds up grape) Is this grape too big Mommy? Should I bite it?

Mommy: (concentrating on Donkey Kong, who is coming up fast and threatening my tentative first place position with all the banana peels he keeps lobbing my way a particularly insightful chapter, but wanting to encourage him to bite them all) Yes honey, all the grapes in your bowl are too big, you should bite them all.

Owen: Okay Mommy. (a few minutes later...) I'm done my snack Mommy, can I play hockey ball in the basement?

Mommy: (now distracted by Wario, who is trying to muscle me off the track and into the lava a poignant example of wonderful parenting in the next chapter) Sure sweetie. Have fun.

A few minutes later, Mommy has taken the gold in the Lightning Cup finished the book and is glancing down at Owen's snack bowl.

Mommy: (falls off the couch she is laughing so hard).

Anyone with a two-year-old at home want to take a guess at what had me laughing so hard? Owen had put his snack bowl neatly on the end table. His snack bowl, full of half-grapes. He bit them all in half, as per my instructions. When I recovered, I called him back upstairs and told him he could eat the other half of the grapes too if he wanted. He wanted, and hoovered them down. Then we shared some juice. The end.